About Mensline

Mensline operates from Auckland New Zealand, is an integrated part of the Lifeline service. We believe that we as men haven't been looking after ourselves very well. That means everyone is affected, all the people we come into contact with. In the new millennium, in an atmosphere of change and possibility, we have the chance to live energetic, balanced lives and step outside the imprisonment of provider, protector and controller. Relationships are always at the core of our lives. Mensline offers the chance for men to repair and improve their quality of relating and create a positive world.

Can you talk about your real concerns with your mates? With your wife or partner? You are doing well if you can say "yes" to those. But there may be times when the answer doesn't seem so clear.

The men of Mensline believe in the importance of having someone to talk to, someone who doesn't have their own axe to grind.

Phone us if you want to talk to someone who is not personally involved and knows about men's problems. Given a good chance to talk, and feel your way through things with support, it's surprising how much you can work out for yourself.

On Mensline, we don't hand out advice! We endeavour instead to help you find your own answers and we may be able to refer you to specific services for your needs. We could also arrange for you to go to a specific group where you can talk with other men in the same or similar situations.

Mainly, though, we invite you to ring us and share about how things are for you. Mensline is free. We are volunteers who offer professional standards of service and complete confidentiality.

Did you know..? Men are just as seriously damaged and affected by destructive behavioural patterns as women and children. Perhaps more so.
  • 76% of assault hospitalisations are men.
  • 80% of all suicides are men.
  • 77% of problem drinkers are men.
  • 79% of pathological gamblers are men.
  • 16% of solo parents are men.
  • 66% of all murder victims are males.
  • Twice as many males die in motor vehicle accidents as do women.
  • Men are as intensely concerned for the environment as are women - this is not a gender concern.
  • There are more male peacemakers than warmongers.
  • There are more male acts of heroism, boldness, courage, bravery, and construction than male acts of cowardice, destruction, and abuse.
  • Men can be quietly desperate - politically, socially, interpersonally - even powerless and helpless.
  • Men do feel, do work hard and do care about relationships.

Problem...
  • You're supposed to be strong, successful, capable, dependable and happy; sometimes you aren't.
  • You're supposed to deny the pain, the worry, the weakness and the fear to yourself; so you isolate and pretend.

Result...
  • Men often feel alone and powerless.
  • Men lose their families.
  • Men suicide four times more than women.
  • Men die six years younger than women.
  • Men affect and hurt others with their problems.
  • Men have poor health; heart, lung, cancer, mental and sexual.
  • Men often have a poverty of spirit and relationships.

Some solutions...
  • Men talking to men.
  • Men appreciating men.
  • Men trusting enough to be open with men.
  • Men knowing they have choices.
  • Men helping with men's problems.
  • Men having the courage to change.
  • Men being encouraged and affirmed.
  • Men living life without regrets.
Working our lives out for ourselves.
Mensline is not about telling anyone how to live their lives. We all have our own ideas, of course, but our number one priority is to support each other and that includes you, in making our own choices. We value diversity. We value positive solutions from within our shared male experience.

What's in it for us?
Putting ourselves "on the line" for callers brings us face to face with our issues and our own growth as men. And it makes us active participants in one of the biggest explorations of our age. Who and how we are! How do we want to be? Mensline is an example of men taking responsibility for their condition and creating possibilities for change.

By Men, For Men
Since the Industrial Revolution, the adult male has been taken out of the family home and into newly created factories and offices. With a lessening in the personal interaction between children and their fathers, care and nurture was allocated to women.

As a consequence, men's relationship skills have become restricted, our emotions suppressed, and our rituals and spirit devalued. A gap where the father used to be has emerged in the lives of young men.

Men counselling men breaks this mould in two ways. Firstly, it allows men to develop nurturing, caring roles towards each other, thus breaking a stereotype of isolation, competition, and conflict. Secondly, by allowing men to seek help from other men, it reduces emotional dependency on women and decreases men's insecurity and need to control.

Men's hurts and pains are male in origin. It is important that men heal themselves. ("I get to a stage in counselling a man when I just know I must turn him over to another man in order to find himself. For a man to discover his maleness he needs to see it reflected in another man." - Margaret Mourant)

Some reasons men ring Mensline
  • Depression
  • Recent separation
  • Unemployment
  • Anger or violence
  • Relationship conflict
  • Poor health
  • Money stress
  • Parenting issues
  • Sexuality
Join us.
If you share our vision and you think you have some concern and time to offer, you may wish to join our community of men. Your skills may not be in counselling. There are many ways of helping. High quality training is given to counsellors so we can maintain our professional reputation. Contact us.